Judgement Day

Philomena Plott was happily accepting a Pimms at the village fete when saw Cousin Dolores bearing down on her like a large, highly coloured barge torn free of its moorings. She glanced around frantically but realized that unless she took … Continue reading

Harsh Necessities

Bertie Inkgreen found his aunt Philomena in the front garden, wearing heavy boots and the expression of someone cleaning out the cat-litter.  She stamped her foot. “Everything all right, Auntie?” Bertie wondered if she and Uncle Ulysses had been having … Continue reading


Lady Philomena Plott came into the kitchen with the post. Lord Ulysses folded his paper neatly along its creases and laid it aside.  “Anything good?” he said, tweaking an errant crumb from his moustache. Philomena flicked through the envelopes.  “Bill, … Continue reading


Ulysses Plott, wandering downstairs in search of a cup of tea, heard the sound of furious typing from his wife’s study, and nodded with satisfaction. Good old Philomena.  Excellent self-discipline. He stuck his head around the door. “Fancy a cuppa?” Philomena jumped, … Continue reading

First Response

Bertie Inkgreen pulled to a stop on the Plott’s driveway, spraying gravel in an extravagant arc.  Lord Plott ducked protectively over the rosebush he was strapping upright. “I say,” he protested.  “Bit of shrapnel there.” “Sorry, uncle,” Bertie said.  “How’s … Continue reading

Forced Entry

“Marvellous, isn’t it, having them so early?”  Dolores Plott-Muggins waved a pallid strawberry in the air. “I think I’d rather let them come on in their own time,” Lady Philomena Plott said, eyeing the strawberry with suspicion.   “I’m not terribly … Continue reading

Learning Curve

“Aunt Philly?  Uncle Ulysses?  Anyone home?”  “Bertie, dear boy,” Lady Philomena Plott emerged from the conservatory with a tray of seedlings.  She had an ancient straw hat on her head and, Bertie noticed, had accessorised a vintage silk dress with … Continue reading

How to get started? Bertie’s big problem.

Bertie Inkgreen walked up the gravel driveway to the Plotts on a crisp January afternoon.  Bertie was not serene.  Bertie had a problem, and was visiting his aunt Philomena and uncle Ulysses (Col. Lord U, etc, retd.) to seek advice. … Continue reading