If there was one thing Ulysses looked forwards to more than going to the St. Werenfridus summer fête, it was coming home afterwards. Eternal optimist that he was, he never remembered this until the inevitable late afternoon encounter. It wasn’t … Continue reading

Guerilla Gardeners of Sarf London, innit?

Lord and Lady Plott got rather fed up with driving past this: So we decided to do this: Location: STonecot Hill, B279 / A24 crossroads. Pictures on left looking towards Sutton. Pictures on right looking down Tudor Drive Our thanks … Continue reading

Harsh Necessities

Bertie Inkgreen found his aunt Philomena in the front garden, wearing heavy boots and the expression of someone cleaning out the cat-litter.  She stamped her foot. “Everything all right, Auntie?” Bertie wondered if she and Uncle Ulysses had been having … Continue reading

Too Much is Just Enough

It was Spring. The Plotts were up with the sun and about their morning routines. Philomena was writing, Ulysses was out on Morning Inspection.  Standing inside the lean-to, he looked down at his seed trays with a mixture of fond … Continue reading


Lady Philomena Plott came into the kitchen with the post. Lord Ulysses folded his paper neatly along its creases and laid it aside.  “Anything good?” he said, tweaking an errant crumb from his moustache. Philomena flicked through the envelopes.  “Bill, … Continue reading

Vegetable Kingdoms – Pt.1

Truth be told, it was the most enormous marrow,  both in length and girth.  Green it was, with stripes of deep and buttery yellow. Resting against it, a rosette of yellow silk enclosed the words ‘Country Champion’.  A large silver … Continue reading

First Response

Bertie Inkgreen pulled to a stop on the Plott’s driveway, spraying gravel in an extravagant arc.  Lord Plott ducked protectively over the rosebush he was strapping upright. “I say,” he protested.  “Bit of shrapnel there.” “Sorry, uncle,” Bertie said.  “How’s … Continue reading

The Ruthless Writer

Ulysses Plott was off his food, his breakfast newspaper, off his – well, just about everything. “What’s up, dear?’ Lady Plott asked at lunchtime. ‘Oh, nothing,’ Lord Plott stared morosely out the window at the teeming rain. ‘Weather getting you … Continue reading

Forced Entry

“Marvellous, isn’t it, having them so early?”  Dolores Plott-Muggins waved a pallid strawberry in the air. “I think I’d rather let them come on in their own time,” Lady Philomena Plott said, eyeing the strawberry with suspicion.   “I’m not terribly … Continue reading

Getting Away from it All

It was the time of year when Ulysses liked to plan the Annual Expedition.  As a result, the dining room was redesignated as the Campaign Room, and holiday catalogues thumped down from the letterbox onto the doormat in a constant … Continue reading